How Physical Strength helped overcome a time of Mental Weakness - Part 1
He was a fit and healthy 30 years old, worked hard, played rugby and liked cars, motorbikes and the occasional beer
As a Prop his stature was that of the proverbial out house and he wasn’t a stranger to hard graft
Pretty standard stuff really
With a new family and a new home, everything was going so well
He started to feel tired, after all it’s a busy and hectic lifestyle he now had, full of responsibility
We all feel knackered after a week of non-stop activity, Don’t we?
But it was more than that, tiredness turned to fatigue
Fatigue evolved into pure exhaustion
Until eventually just having a morning shower became far too much and he needed to go back to bed then a depression set in and with it came anxiety.
What was happening to him?
Over the years His mates dropped off one by one as he stopped going out, preferring to stay inside and hide away than having to put on a front to the outside world.
I would have to make excuses for him as no one truly understood, thinking he was just being unsociable or moody
That is really tough – when those you stood side by side with on the field, those who apparently have your back, the club you had given so much time too literally disappear
When the tough gets going…everyone just fucks off
His cognitive function started to slow down until he couldn’t even speak in full sentences let alone understand simple instructions.
Panic attacks would surface even at the thought of talking to anyone at all, even on the phone.
After many years of fighting battles with GPs and Consultants Phil was diagnosed with Obstructive sleep apnoea, hypogonadism ( low testosterone) and type 2 diabetes.
He had already lost his job with a medical discharge and we almost lost our home due to mounting bills
Metaphorically speaking, we were well overdrawn with foodbank too, already having used our quota for the year.
He didn’t even have the strength to put on his socks, so how the fuck did he manage to crawl back from the edge, the dark place where he truly thought his loving family would be better off if he just disappeared?
Find out in Part 2