I've not been posting much recently. I have taken pictures occasionally but not posted them for a few reasons, I'm using a crappy old spare phone with an awful camera but mostly because I've not been well for a while. I have had a mentall health relapse which has been hitting me pretty full force. As I always do when I'm I'll, I've also gained a lot of weight, and although I absolutely will not punish or demonize my body for gaining fat or responding to my emotional health, when it's teamed up with BPD and depression it can make me feel a little extra uncomfortable for a while, a little extra worthless, not because I'm bigger, there's nothing at all wrong with that, but because after all my hard work I've let it happen again, a reminder of being out of control.. of feeling not as strong as i'd like. My illness is so outward, it removes all my filters, all my layers, all my complexities, my true values, my gentleness, my subtlety, who I really am as a person and simply pours a bizzare, confused, inconsistent, reactive stream of rawness out in to the world which is all too often undoing all the hard work I have put in to my reputation, my relationships and my happiness. Especially when we still live in a world that generally has no understanding or patience for such things. I've not been okay and I've hidden a little. And it's okay to not be okay.. I always want people to know it's okay to not be okay, to feel very far from perfect. so I'm going to post this, I find honesty, acceptance and kindness is the only way out of this. For me honesty is strength. xxx
So here is a picture i took a little while ago and never posted because i just didnt feel i was good enough.
P.S completely obsessed with these zuzuplugs saddle weights I can't get a decent picture due to the crappy phone but they are amazing 💜
#honesty #emotionalhealth #emotionalhealing #recovery #imperfect #bodyimage #weightgain #bodypositivity #alternative #alternativecurves #anxiety #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #bpd #bpdawareness #depression #seasonaldepression #progressnotperfection #seasonalaffectivedisorder #girlswithpeircings #girlswithplugs #saddleweights #earweights #earhangers