Today is @seanmcdev BIRTHDAY!!🎉 This is the blog entry I wrote about him on proteinpowerprayer.com ⤵️
You know that feeling when you come home after a long trip? When you melt deeply into your bed and exhale even deeper? The familiarity flirting with all five of your senses.
That’s what he’s like.
He has always been my coming home. I melt into his arms the same and let my lungs be breathless, breathing out every “you don’t belong” and breathing in complete and total acceptance. What a gift it is for someone to smother the fire of fear and jealousy in me and ignite a new fire in my belly born of love and understanding.
There are people, who, when you see them, you can’t help but strip away every false, fabricated, filtered layer and be entirely, utterly yourself. The naked, “Oh sh*t” kind of vulnerability, the sickeningly shameful, slightly painful kind of vulnerability. The people who see your true existence and ask for nothing more. Even if you wanted to, even if you tried (and we’ve all tried) to pretend to be something you’re not for one second, they’d see right through you. I might as well have been glass to him. //
Of course in my idealist mind, this glass is the cutest little window on the front of the cutest little house. Let’s call it our home. And through me, he can see our future. Natural light floods the living room full of frantic children and misplaced, well…everything. Mostly children. I mean more children than dogs but still a lot of dogs. And all I can see is him. I’ve made homes of many houses but never any hearts. A quick knock, a hello, and an even quicker goodbye was all I knew. //
My mind wanders. I like that. He doesn’t mind. He watches me daydream, often looking perplexed. He finds me in California dancing in the mountains. These old roots tore from the soles of my shoes. Poor worn down souls. Maybe I was always half gypsy and a little half past hell-bent on freedom. I don’t have to chase the mountain air because this man moves mountains for me.🌿
I’ve left pieces of me in streets unpaved; in towns unnamed. He gathered each piece shattered and made a kaleidoscope out of me.
Until the day we’re called home, I’ll call you home🏠