April 17, 2019
It’s taken me a long time to write this. Longer than most would think acceptable. We were friends after all, right? But that in itself is one of the reasons I took my time.
I didn’t know you for long, but what little time we did share was memorable. I am a firm believer in the old adage: “everything happens for a reason” and to me, that means everyone we meet has a purpose in our lives. You taught me a lot in minimal amount of time. I would have liked to have thought I added something of benefit to your life but now? I’m not so sure.
See, the truth is, while I’m saddened by your death, I’m also angry and torn. A walking contradiction: that’s me. I understand why you did what you did, logically speaking. Part of me commends it: we should all have the decision to make that ultimate choice.
But emotionally? I don’t buy into it. How could you do that to Ninja? Your family? Your friends? Without an explanation at the very least…You owed her that.
I can rationalize your actions all day. Give you excuses; argue with myself. But the truth is, for me, it doesn’t matter why. You did what you did and left a hole in the world where your soul and personality once was. All I can do is remember what you taught me and try to be there for the others. I try not to dwell on the things we’ll never get to do, on the whys and hows, but it’s hard sometimes. It’s even harder to swallow the anger.
So, I’m sorry I haven’t said goodbye, not properly anyways, but I needed to work through my own thoughts and it comes down to this: You will always be missed. You were an amazing person. I hope that the cage in Valhalla is kept with worthy opponents and that 5FDP is blaring all the time.
I still will not condone Lizzy Hale though, sorry. Ain’t gonna happen... I’ll miss you, douche.
#authormjvieira #underyourscars #suicideprevention #viking #dragon #teamviking #youwillbemissed #sayinggoodbye