Recovery is a messy thing no matter what it is, but especially when it comes to your mind. Honestly, even now there are days where its tempting to go back to how things were and how "easy" it would be just to let things slip back... But then I always remember what that time was like, how far I've come and how hard I've worked to get where I am. With EDs (and in my experience with my ED) you dont just lose weight, you lose whi you are, your personality and your life. You lose your friends, your ability to find your voice and your ability to think rationally.
Through my 5+ years in recovery I've found mental and physical strength, made life long friends and got two qualifications. I've fallen multiple times, had hiccups in terms of my mental health but I'm also proud to say that throughout my 5 years I've never relapsed. Not because I havent wanted to (because let me tell you, there were many times), but because I refuse to let all that work and progress go to waste.
In those times I leaned on the "fall back plan" I made for myself when I finished OP treatment and while its changed over the years with my maintenance (for the food side of it) and what I'm doing (mental health side of things). The core of it is still the same.
I used to think having a plan like this was a cop out, that it meant I was weak in the times I've needed to use it, but if anything its the opposite! Having plans in place is SMART! And making use of them and doing the hard work in times when there's an overwhelming pull to go back to old ways and sitting with truly uncomfortable and even at times frightening feeling shows true strength and growth.
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